All posts by Matea

AnastasiaDate: Why The Hell Yeah Approach Is The Only Approach In Love

Let’s start with a little group confession, just to get it out there: everyone hates loneliness. Now that we’ve established this, we can discuss the issue at hand. How far would you be willing to go to find a partner? How wise is it to spend your time and energy pursuing someone who’s probably not that into you? AnastasiaDate discusses.

AnastasiaDate On Lukewarm Hearts and Half-Baked Attempts

When it comes to finding that special someone, sometimes it’s a matter of seconds, aka love at first sight, and others it’s more of an acquired taste, like friendships turned to romantic relationships. In both cases, though, there is one thing that should be there: the willingness of both parties to say “Hell Yes! I really want to get to know this person; I want to make this work”. Not just you. Not just her.

You should both be enthusiastic about the prospect of spending time together. Why? Because people who are self-respecting, attractive, and non-needy don’t give the time of day to people who are not excited to be with them, or who don’t spark their interest.

The Hell-Yeah Approach’s Benefits For Your Dating Life

Does this approach sound too idealistic or dogmatic? If you think about it, it holds many tangible benefits regarding your dating life.

To begin with, you will no longer be strung along by people who aren’t genuinely interested in you. This will mean your immense disappointment and the tons of anger that follow rejection will go away. This time, you call the shots by not allowing people who have the capacity to hurt you into your life.

Second, you will no longer pursue people you are not really feeling it for just to boost your ego. Most people have gone along with someone they were so-so about just because there was no one else available. Where did that lead you? A relationship that was more boring than an Oscar-acceptance speech.

Once you make the decision to immediately go away unless you’re in the “Hell Yeah” mode, some seemingly hard decisions will be made easy. If you feel like someone’s playing hard to get, acting like a player or pushing you to do something you’re not sure you want to, just ask yourself how you feel about it.

Another serious benefit of the Hell Yeah approach is that it will help you establish your own personal boundaries and stick to them. Maintaining strong boundaries will not only make you more self-respecting and attractive, but it will also help you keep your cool and stay sane in the long run.

Last but not least, choosing to not waste time with people who are either not into you or that you are not that into will give you more time for those who really matter to you. Focus your efforts and channel your energy into people who feel right, who make things seem easy and who want to make you say Hell Yeah, I want to spend my time with you.

In A Nutshell

To cut a long story short, at AnastasiaDate we don’t believe in perfect situations and ideal conditions, but we believe in people’s real feelings and free will. So, if you feel that you genuinely want her and that you are both willing to give things a serious try, go for it with all that you’ve got. But it’s much better to waste no more time and move on to something worth your (and her) while if one (or both) of you is unsure. Simple as that.

People From Harvard Explain How You Should Small Talk

Anyone who’s had a modicum of life experience will have been acquainted with the struggle of an uncomfortable dinner date with a girlfriend’s parents, a silent dinner with co-workers, or the awkward silences of a first date. All this could have been avoided if only they had mastered the art of small talk.

This Is How To Make Small Talk Work Big Wonders For You

Once again, science has come to help us tackle one of the hardest – albeit common – issues of our everyday lives: making conversation with people we’re not comfortable around. This time, Harvard Business School doctoral student Karen Huang and her research team made it their business to analyze over 300 online and face-to-face interactions between people in the process of getting to know each other, in a study aptly named “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-asking Increases Liking”.

The Harvard University Study

Regarding online conversations, participants were given a random person to talk with for a quarter of an hour. In the first study, they instructed one of the two people in every pair to ask either many questions (a minimum of 9) or a few (a maximum of 4).

After the conversations, each participant was asked how much they liked their partner. What was gathered from their responses was that those who asked more questions, especially follow-up questions, were found to be more affable than those asking just a few.

In the second study, which examined online communication, participants chatted online for a quarter of an hour. However, this time they were not told how many questions to ask; they were simply told to ask many questions or few. Subsequently, third-party observers studied the transcripts of their chats.

In their view, those who got to answer many questions were more likable than those asking them, Huang reported to the Huffington Post.

Understanding The Findings

She continued, “We suspect this is because people who answer lots of questions end up revealing more information about their thoughts, ideas, and perspectives. They seem more interesting and complete.”

What we aim at when we make small talk is, according to the researcher, to strike a balance between asking questions and answering other people’s questions, being neither too interrogative nor overly guarded.

Small Talk And Dating

The researchers continued their search by looking at a previous study conducted on a sample of 110 people at a speed-dating event. They analyzed the number of questions and follow-up questions that were posed by participants. What they found was that the daters who made follow-up questions were more likely to get a second date.

The conclusion? Asking a good follow-up question is a great idea. When dating, we should try to establish as full and complete a dialogue as possible, rather than a full-blown interrogation session.

Communication expert and author of “The Fine Art Of Small Talk”, Debra Fine told Huffington Post: “There is so much more to a good conversation than merely asking questions and jumping from topic to topic. Follow-up questions are key because otherwise, conversations are just question-after-question with no connection or in-depth real conversation.”

If you’re not sure what questions to ask, read our relevant article for inspiration. For more dating and relationship advice, click here. You may also want to visit AnastasiaDate for the chance to put your newly-acquired knowledge to the test, chatting with amazing Eastern European ladies.

Why Romantic Love Doesn’t Work The Way You Think It Does

Over the years, Romanticism has taught us that there is someone out there who will be the perfect yin to our yang, the light to our darkness, the missing part of our lives that will come to make us complete. However, in reality, romantic love is a whole different story.

How Romanticism Shaped Our Views On Romantic Love

The ideology of Romanticism emerged in Europe in the mid-18th century, expressed by poets, artists, and philosophers, and it has since taken over the world, powerfully (yet very quietly) determining the ending of all Hollywood rom coms, or how a Chinese woman will be proposed to and an Argentinian guy will bring his date roses. However, as with all prevailing ideologies, it has quite a few pitfalls.

Soulmates

To begin with, there is the notion of a soulmate, the notion that you don’t even have to speak to the other person in order for him or her to understand you. This rarely works, as communication is, in fact, absolutely necessary for a relationship. The lack of it is, indeed, one of the greatest relationship killers.

Linking Love And Sex

Another false idea about romantic love is that love and sex are inextricably united. In reality, while sex might be infinitely better when there are strong romantic feelings present, it does not mean that two people who love each other will always be sexually compatible, and vice versa.

Dividing Romantic Love And Practical Life

A third mistaken concept of Romanticism is that it has fostered a division between romantic love and practical life. In romantic novels, for instance, we hardly ever read about the mundane realities of the protagonists, how they get bored when they go to work or how they agonize about paying the electricity bills. These elements of everyday life are best forgotten, giving us the impression that romantic love is only present as we take strolls on the beach at sunset or go on romantic picnics in the forest.

Thinking That Passion Is Unfaltering

A fourth false expectation regarding romantic love has to do with the unwavering existence of passion. Anyone who has ever been in a long-term relationship (be it in a marriage or outside of it) can attest to the fact that passion is really hard to maintain and it hardly ever stays the same. In reality, passion comes and goes. You may feel too tired of upset with your partner to feel passionate about them, but then a romantic escape or a new tight dress might revive the feeling all of a sudden.

All in all, even though romantic love is a beautiful and noble idea, it is one we should take with a pinch of salt. Relationships are beautiful as they are complicated, and we should always remind ourselves that they are hard work instead of magically waiting for our partner to read our mind or feeling disappointed when she is too tired to take that stroll in the sunset.

Do you believe in romantic love or not? Either way, you can find your perfect partner on AnastasiaDate today. For more articles on dating and relationships, continue here.