It’s a common fact that we cannot please everybody. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much effort we put into placing our best foot forward, some people will still see us as not likable. To some, this isn’t a problem, but there’s a good number of people reading this now that need to find a way to get over not being liked.
How To Get Over Being Not Likable
So, why do people feel the need to be liked anyway? It has to do with acceptance. For us to feel like we have a place in society or in a certain group of people, we need to be liked. We need to belong.
Ironically, not being liked actually won’t affect our lives one way or the other because what people think of us are external factors that we cannot control. We can only control ourselves. With that said, the key to overcoming not being liked is a change in perspective.
Backed Up By Data
Roger Covin, a clinical psychologist based in Ottawa, says that he usually tells his clients to think of themselves as ink blots used in a Rorschach test. Covin continues by saying that what the person dislikes about you may be what they dislike in themselves. How people read ink blots depends on how much of themselves they see on the splatter.
Another study determined that being liked is more than just having a great personality. Volunteers were requested to determine the participants that they liked and did not like in a controlled setting. Researchers observed that volunteers had a more pleasant feeling with participants who had the same personality as them.
How To Change Your Perspective
Here are some tips on how you can change your perspective to get over being not likable:
- Always think about factors that are beyond the current situation. Have you ever thought the person who doesn’t like you might just be having a bad day? Maybe he or she is hungry. There are other factors that you need to consider.
- You may be bias yourself which caused the other person not to like you. Be ware of your own bad behavior and change it.
- Most of the time, we take things personally. Even when the statement was made from neutral ground, we can still feel like we are being attacked. Know the difference between neutral and negative.
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It’s normal for all of us to experience dating jitters. Of course! How can you not when you really like the person you’re dating? Most of the time, we tell ourselves to be the best, project a suave personality, and carry a conversation with confidence. However, the more we think about these things, the more intense our dating jitters become. How do you get past this? Anastasia Date has some suggestions.
Anastasia Date: Ways To Get Rid Of Dating Jitters
There are a few ways on how you can get rid of your dating jitters. Take note of the following before you go on your big date:
1. Go Easy On The Beer Or Wine
You may be thinking that chugging a few glasses of beer or wine before your date helps to give you false courage. Well, it does take the edge off but you have to drink just the right amount. Remember that drinking too much can mess with your decision-making ability.
2. Plan A Stress-Free Date
Is there anything more intimidating than sitting across a total stranger, trying to make a good impression? The restaurant date is very intimidating to most. This is why you can change it up and go on a coffee date instead. Other options could be a walk in the park or a museum visit.
3. Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
We are our own worst critics. When you’re already on your date, let things be. When things don’t go your way or when you say something awkward, just let it go. Accept that things will never be perfect.
4. Focus On The Now And Not The Future
We all imagine our future with the person we’re dating. That’s normal but what if the date doesn’t work out? We end up disappointed and heartbroken because we were already expecting something in our heads. Stir clear of this kind of thinking and just focus on what’s happening now.
Your date’s going to go better when you have all four items on this list in mind. Remember, the lesser pressure you put on yourself, the lesser your dating jitters will be. For more Anastasia Date tips, check out the rest of our blog.
When you’re in a new relationship, you’ll likely face a lot of challenges. This is especially true if you have already past your honeymoon stage. Two individuals who are just getting to know each other will likely experience disagreements, and that’s normal. But, if you want your new relationship to last longer, you have to follow this one rule.
Follow The Once A Week Rule To Lengthen Your New Relationship
What is the Once A Week Rule? It basically means what it sounds – a couple needs to see each other only once every week. It sounds ironic because the tendency is, usually, for a new couple to spend as much time together as possible. However, here are some reasons why AnastasiaDate advises you should apply the Once A Week Rule:
1. Physical Intimacy Heightens Emotions
In every new relationship, the passion is always there and the attraction is alive and kicking. Physical intimacy is inevitable, most of the time. This is not a bad thing, but if you do the deed often with the person you have fallen for, emotions and expectations heighten. It would be great if your partner forms similar expectations as you, but if you’re not going to be on the same page, there’s going to be an abundance of conflict in your relationship.
2. You Become Emotionally Attached To Someone You Hardly Know
Because it’s a new relationship, you’ll likely still be in the stages of getting to know each other. The result of this is, likely, emotional attachment. You never want to be emotionally attached to someone you hardly know because, again, it will result in a lot of conflict in your new relationship.
The Lesson You’ll Learn From The Once A Week Rule
Although it’s going to be hard for you and your potential partner to meet just once a week, it will be better for your new relationship in the long run. Take it slow, get to know each other, and build your anticipation and longing for the Once A Week Rule. For more dating tips, read more from our blog.