How To Determine If You Are Compatible Without Being Intimate

There is no doubt that one of the most significant ingredients for the happiness of a couple is being compatible in bed. However, sometimes this is hard to gauge. How can a couple establish whether they are sexually compatible when being intimate is not possible?

This Is How You Can Tell If You’re Right For Each Other Before Being Intimate

In some cases, either because of practical difficulties, such as being in different parts of the world, or due to a couple’s conscious decision to abstain until a certain point in their common life, such as marriage, a couple can’t get intimate. Therefore, they have to rely on certain signs in order to guess their level of sexual compatibility. Here are the most efficient of them.

The couple can communicate well. Communication is a crucial factor for all healthy relationships, and it’s also vital when it comes to sex. A successful and compatible couple should feel free to openly discuss their desires, boundaries, and needs. Being able to talk about the most awkward sides of intimacy and to freely give your feedback to your partner, as well as receive feedback from her, are good signs of sexual compatibility too. It means that even if you do have some differences between you, you will be able to address them instead of sweeping them under the rug.

The partners are willing to make compromises. There are no two people who are the same. What’s more important than being the exact same person as your partner is your (and her) willingness to compromise and look for common ground. Of course, having the same drives helps – which takes us to the third sign.

Both partners have the same drives. Even when you are not able to act on your drives, knowing that both of you share the same ideas about what’s fun, how often you’d like to be intimate with each other and the when and where of your fantasies is important as it sets the ground for the moment you will get there.

Both parties know themselves well. Knowing your own self and being comfortable in your own skin are good indicators of being able to love someone and give yourself to them honestly. If your partner suffers from low self-esteem and too much insecurity, it’s a bad sign for your sex life too. But if she is also aware of her strengths and needs, the chances are she will also make a good, giving lover.

Even though sexual chemistry is very much a physical thing and there are no guarantees for it, it is also a brain thing and a couple can come to some conclusions regarding their compatibility even before being intimate.

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Situationship, We’ve All Been In One, But Hadn’t Realized It

If you’ve heard of the term situationship, don’t worry – it’s only because we’re talking about a brand new term, very recently coined by Cosmopolitan. This is a word we needed badly without even realizing it.

What’s A Situationship?

If you are having trouble defining what you have when you’re dating someone and doing some of the things couples do, yet don’t feel like introducing her as your “partner”, you probably have what is now known as a “situationship”. If you’re still not sure that this is what you have, here are more details.

What Are The Signs Of A Situationship?

Sign #1: Your toothbrush is in her house or hers is in yours. If you’ve left personal items at each other’s place, it is a clear sign you’re going back. Which is a sign there’s more than a casual, one-night stand there.

Sign #2: Preferring to communicate via Whatsapp and Messenger rather than talking on the phone. A sign you ARE communicating, but don’t exactly feel the need to hear each other’s voice.

Sign #3: It’s known it’s not all about sex, even though neither has actually said it. When you know from the way you act around each other that the relationship (the situationship, to be precise) is not merely a physical thing, but there are real feelings involved; despite the fact you aren’t sure it’s love.

Sign #4: Not being comfortable answering your friends’ questions about the reasons why it’s not a proper relationship. You’re probably saying there is no reason to put labels on it. And you believe it (maybe).

Sign #5: You only make plans for the very near future (like next week). Neither dares make plans for summer holidays together or anything remotely serious. ‘Cos that’s what people in relationships do.

Sign #6: You kind of miss her when you’re not together. But there’s no way you’re telling her because you’re still unsure of your feelings. You wouldn’t want to spoil what you have anyway.

Sign #7: Enjoying your freedom to do whatever you want, but not wanting to date anyone else. You like the fact you can hang out with your mates and answer to no one, but even though you’re entitled to flirt and sleep with whoever you want, you are fine dating only her.

If, indeed, you’re in a situationship, enjoy it while it lasts. One thing is certain, as with all undefined things and things that hang in the balance,  it will change.

Sooner or later, this will either develop into a full-on relationship or it will end as soon as one of you moves on to something more serious. In any case, always make sure to be honest with yourself and her about your feelings and expectations so there won’t be any regrets later on.

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Should You Be More Vulnerable On A Date?

It is a universally accepted truth that not all people are the same. One of the things setting us apart is how open we choose to be in our relationships with others. Some of us tend to be more introverted, while others feel comfortable trusting people right away. Have you ever thought that in your search for a life partner you may not be as vulnerable on a date as you should?

This Is How To Tell If You’re Vulnerable On A Date Or Not

Being open with people we know is hard enough, so it’s only natural to be even more reserved with people that we hardly know. As we grow, life teaches us to put up walls and hide our emotions to avoid further heartache. Especially those of us coming from recent or very hurtful experiences will be even more reluctant to put our trust on a stranger. So, how do you know if you are being too careful, then? These are some of the most common signs:

You Always Expect The Worst

If you assume that the person you are dating is going to screw you over sooner or later, you may believe that you are saving yourself from eventual pain by not trusting them but,  in reality, you are not giving that person a real chance to prove their worth. What’s the use of dating someone you don’t believe in?

You Avoid Questions

When you’re on a date, do you answer to his/ her questions in an honest and open way, or do you measure every word, try to avoid giving out more personal information and change the subject when you feel that you’re about to reveal something about yourself? If so, it may be a clear sign you’re afraid of being vulnerable on a date.

You Don’t Give People Time

Once an idea a person is one way takes root in your mind, there is really no way back. From then on, every date is just an effort you’re unconsciously making to confirm your assumption is right. If all you are doing is looking for clues to convince yourself that your date is not good enough, all you are doing is sabotaging your relationship before it’s even started.

You Think It’s All A Game

Yes, dating can be fun like a game, but it’s not a real game as such. The reason two people date is because they like each other and want to know more about each other, after all. If you don’t take dating seriously, you may not be invested enough to make things work. Games usually involve some competition and seeing the other person as a rival, and in the case of dating the other person should hardly be seen as such.

You Already See An Expiration Date

If you have a certain amount of dates you allow yourself to go to, or if you have already decided in your head that you will allow your dates to reach a certain ‘depth” but not turn into something more, chances are it is coming across to your potential partner and acts as a real deterrent. So, even if you don’t realize you’re feeling this way, or take the initiative to end things, you are still not allowing things to progress further than a few superficial dates.

In a world that’s full of potential but also superficiality and fast-food relationships, it’s easy to close yourself off to something deeper for fear of getting heartbroken. Being vulnerable on a date, however,  is not about being naive and silly, it’s the only way to forge a real and meaningful relationship with a person who will do the same for you. Remember, relationships that are not built on mutual trust are doomed to failure.

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