We all know what puppy love is. It’s a kind of love that’s intense and wonderful, but there’s a very shallow romantic attachment to it. Commonly, we associate this kind of love with the younger generation. Despite its intensity, we should all remember that this is not the kind of love that stays. It’s the adult love that we should be hoping to have at a later point in our life when we are ready to settle down.
Why Adult Love Should Be First Of Our Goals
Puppy love comes from our toddler brain which matures when we reach three years old. We fall in love through the use of this part of our minds. On the other hand, adult love comes from the prefrontal cortex or our adult brain. This is the part of our minds we use to stay in love.
The main reason why we cannot sustain our puppy love is that it comes into conflict with cognitive limitations. When we are experiencing puppy love, we feel like our entire world revolves around this one person. We have a very different perspective of who the person actually is – we view our partner as someone who is perfect. As soon as we see the flaws, we question whether the love we felt was true or not.
Meanwhile, adult love stems from our most humane values like compassion, kindness, and the desire for growth. Most would also refer to this as a mature kind of love.
Is Your Toddler Brain Active In Your Relationship?
Sadly, most relationships function with the use of our toddler brain. As mentioned, this kind of connection won’t last very long. But, how do you know when your toddler brain is active? Answer the following yes or no questions to find out:
- When in an argument, do you always have to have things your way?
- Do you always say that your point is the right one?
- Do you say no to your partner’s opinions?
If you answered yes to all of the questions, then you are operating your relationship with your toddler brain. Starting today, you must learn how to shift to your adult brain by leaving blame, denial, and avoidance behind. Focus on improvement, appreciation, connection, and protection. You may not switch instantly, but with plenty of effort, you’ll be able to do it and see your relationship progress for the better. For more tips on improving relationships, read more posts on our blog.