All posts by Anastasia Date

Seemingly Unmanly Activities Every Man Should Actually Do

Even though times have changed and the roles of men and women are not as distinctly different as they were a few decades ago, there is still a deep-rooted notion about what makes a “manly man”. However, there are certain unmanly activities that can benefit a man in ways he may not have imagined.

How Do These Unmanly Activities Make You A Better Man?

Traditionally, a manly man will enjoy hunting, lifting weights, and watching football while drinking beer with his mates, and he’ll also love chopping wood for his BBQ. However, there are some things that are seen as more “unmanly” that can make a man a better version of himself. Read on.

COOKING

After so many years of women being considered the unquestionable queens of the kitchen, men are proving to be equally – if not more – talented cooks. Honing his culinary skills is beneficial for any guy because it helps him be more creative, but it’s also good for teaching him how to discipline and follow directions. In terms of attraction, all women appreciate the effort put into preparing a delicious three-course meal. Even if you only learn a handful of recipes, make sure you excel at them; you won’t regret it.

CLOTHES SHOPPING

Most men would rather buy the same shirt 5 times than to spend a few hours trying on clothes. Genius Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, is a case in point, as he wears the same grey T-shirt every day claiming to be “too busy running the world’s largest social network” to spend time picking what to wear.

However, shopping should be seen as an act of care for one’s self, not a chore. A man who chooses his clothes to suit him has better chances of attracting the attention of ladies. Not only does he look better in clothes that fit and suit him, but he also makes clear the fact he respects himself enough to care for his outward appearance and also gets to feel more confident.

READING

By reading we don’t mean cars magazines and sports newspapers, but actual books. It has been found that women are the primary readers of literature, as most men seem to prefer engaging in more active pursuits, regarding reading as one of the most unmanly activities.

Nevertheless, a well-read man who knows his Hesse from his Chekhov is more cultured, interesting and attractive for having opened up his mind to the world of literature and possessing the ability to see things from a different perspective.

HOUSE CLEANING

A man doesn’t have to live in a space that’s filled with dirt and roaches – living in squalid conditions doesn’t make one more of a man, it just makes him a lazy and dirty kind of person women would run a mile from.

Keeping your house or apartment clean is beneficial for you because it gives you a better space to think and live with less stress; not to mention a place where you can invite the girl of your dreams continuing a hot date.

All in all, it becomes clear that as our societies progress the lines between the manly and unmanly activities become more and more blurred, making us more attractive and accomplished people irrespective of gender instead.

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How To Turn Online Flirting Into a IRL Relationship

With the sun shining brightly and the refreshingly cool spring breeze softly touching our faces, isn’t it weird we’re at home in front of our computer screens instead of out there enjoying ourselves together? No, it isn’t, because this is how modern life is sometimes. We meet people online, we flirt with them, trying to figure out if this online flirting can work IRL, and then we freak out at the prospect of making the next step.

Online Flirting Is Fun, But It Should Move On

There’s no doubt that there is attraction in having a mysterious stranger text you or e-mail you or chat with you. Someone with whom you can connect on so many levels that it kind of stresses you out if they will be equally attractive face-to-face or if they will still like you when they see you standing awkwardly right there in front of them.

But these are not reasons to avoid real life meetings with our online flirts. In fact, you should view online dating like the first dish you order at a restaurant; the appetizer that whets your (emotional) appetite and gives you a good idea about how good the restaurant is before the main course: the real-life date.

The Red Flags

The first thing that will help you decide if you should take the online flirting further is the absence of red flags. If you notice the other person wishing to leave the online site for more personal communication (via e-mail for example), it’s a worrying sign because online dating sites are there to ensure your safety.

Second, if they hardly ever have time for the meeting, say for instance they can only meet you on Tuesday from 7 to 9, it may be an indication they are in a relationship (or marriage) and can only go under the radar then.

The First Date

It isn’t always easy making sure the person is legit beforehand, though. So, when you arrange the first date make sure it’s during the day (no nights out on the first date), with a coffee date becoming more and more popular (for a number of reasons you can read here).

Some indicators of a bad date are: paying more attention to her mobile than you, talking about her ex too much, bad body language, rudeness to other people and bragging. These are all red flags you shouldn’t ignore, as they can save you a lot of time and trouble.

Taking Things To The Next Level

If you decide to continue dating after the first date, that’s great news. Make sure you keep things light and fun on your next dates, do open up a little but don’t overshare – too much too soon can scare people away and put you in an overly vulnerable position. Take things slow, but not too slow as you may be seen as too timid and maybe even not interested enough.

Be honest about your intentions, but don’t be blatant. There’s a fine line between sincerity and rudeness. If you are both into getting physical, go on – but be sure you’re on the same page and going for the same things. If it means more to one of you, it’s best to avoid it altogether for a start.

Meeting each other in the flesh can cause some disappointment at first, because who doesn’t present themselves in the best possible way when we are online? The truth can be less polished and revealing, but at the end of the day, everyone deserves to be appreciated and loved for who they really are.

Online flirting is a fantastic opportunity to get to know people from all walks of life, even from different places of the earth, and it should be celebrated for doing this amazing service to us. But avoiding RL contact may be a sign that we are too afraid of commitment and shying away from the experiences of life.

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Anastasia Date: This One Magic Word Will Help End Your Arguments

There isn’t one couple in the world that doesn’t have arguments, and there is no person out there who doesn’t hate them. Truth be told, we’d rather they didn’t exist in the first place, but we are also rather unwilling to always give into our partner’s whims by constantly apologizing. So, how do you defuse an argument without apologizing? It only takes one word. Anastasia Date explains.

Anastasia Date: This One Word Can Help Defuse Arguments

As Hal Runkel, a marriage and family therapist and the author of many books on parenting and relationships (including his most recent “Choose Your Own Adulthood“) puts it: “No one can touch you like the one you expose yourself most to, but no one can hurt you like the one you expose yourself the most to.” Which is why we often lose control when we argue with our significant other, saying the exact things we know will cause them hurt out of spite for being hurt ourselves. And once a word has left our mouth, there is no going back.

In a recent interview hosted by Business Insider, Runkel shared his wisdom with readers, saying that one small word can make things a whole lot better during an argument. This word is “Ouch”.

How And When To Say It

Runkel says we hardly ever use this word. Instead, according to the expert: “When [you’re] in conflict, inevitably [you] will say something that hurts the other person using the ‘inside information’ that you have on them or that they have on you.”

So, when you know your partner has issues with her family, for instance, you might use this info next time you have an argument, saying something like: “Even your sister thinks you’re a selfish person, you’ve been like this all your life”, just to make your argument stronger and hurt her with this convenient truth.

It is exactly in situations like this that Runkel suggests we use the word “Ouch”. What he proposes we say is something like “Ouch. That one hurt. I don’t know if you were meaning to hurt me; I don’t know if that’s what you were going for – but that’s what you did”, thus letting our significant other know exactly how their behavior has made us feel.

The Response We Should Expect

Your partner will most probably go on the defensive and say, “But you’ve said some pretty hurtful things to me too!”

To which you should reply: “You’re right. I have, and I hate that I have.”

According to Runkel, “That conversation —which was a very familiar path, that fight — is now a totally different path because one of you chose to actually get vulnerable. It wasn’t a step of pushing [your partner] away. It was a step of inviting [your partner] in by saying: You know what? I am open enough to you that you can actually hurt me. So now how about we talk to each other as if we actually love each other?”

By showing your partner that you are vulnerable and fallible too you are opening up a whole new kind of conversation, one that can be carried on a different, more sensitive and sensible level.

And Another Thing

Another important thing Runkel added is that your partner’s next sentence when you say how much you’ve been hurt could reveal a lot about your relationship and your partner. If they are unwilling to negotiate and carry on discussing things calmly, it is definitely bad news as it could be a sign of lack of sensitivity (and perhaps even love).

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