Intimate relationships and marriages require a good balance. There needs to be closeness as well as some distance, interdependence as well as autonomy. These factors make the relationship healthy and flourishing. So, if you have an avoidant partner, needless to say, affection and intimacy will be affected. Eventually, your relationship will suffer because emotional needs are not met.
How To Tell If You Have An Avoidant Partner
If you want a healthy and growing relationship, you might as well stay away from an avoidant partner. But, how will you know? Here are some characteristics that you should watch out for when you are dating:
Is your date skirting the issue of making long-term plans or discussing the future of your relationship? An avoidant partner may be vague or non-committal when asked what they want. When you propose an activity that could bring you closer, they will immediately reject the idea.
Not Living In The Now
Do you feel that your partner is withholding something? He or she may still be pining over a previous relationship. They may have unfinished or unresolved issues in the past so they withhold emotional attachment from the present.
When things are going well in the relationship, they will find a way to sabotage it. It may be done unconsciously because they feel discomfort in the goodness of how everything is going. They become childish, angry, sullen, or picky. You cannot move closer because they tend to pull back when things are going smoothly.
When something goes wrong, and avoidant partner puts up walls instead of sharing the burden. They feel that they cannot trust other people—including their partners. This will drive a wedge into the relationship.
Because there is something troubling them, avoidant partners are very suspicious and find it difficult to trust others. Even things done out of good intentions can bring them bad feelings. Thus, they will easily have an emotional outburst, alienating everybody on their path.
These people can manipulate others by sending mixed signals. Sometimes, they want to be close and then suddenly, they become cold. They can say one thing and mean another thing. It can be crazy if you have a partner like this.
Having an avoidant partner is emotionally exhausting. They can suck the life out of you. You can either avoid a person like this as you are dating or if you spot many of these signs in your current beau, see if you can get him or her to seek professional help. For more tips on online dating, as well as offline, read other posts on the blog.