In a society that is so obsessed with youth, it is easy to forget that today’s 50-year-olds are worlds apart from what quinquagenarians were like just a few decades ago. Perhaps now is a good time to debunk some of the false myths related to dating after 50.

The Myths And The Truth About Dating After 50

Let’s take a look at the most widespread myths regarding middle-aged people dating, as we explain why each one of them is false.

Myth #1: 50-year-olds don’t have enough energy to date. While this may have been true a few decades ago, in actual fact things are very different today. Today people in their 50s have great health, they enjoy a high standard of living and have a completely different lifestyle compared to that of decades ago. People in their 50s are now strong, healthy and full of beans.

Myth #2: People in their 50s don’t have the desire for physical contact. This is one of the biggest myths. People never lose their interest in or need for intimacy. By contrast, as we mature, we gain experience and become better romantic partners. In fact, it is more likely that a partner in their 50s will have enough experience to know how to make his partner happy.

Myth #3: Middle-aged people are narrow-minded. As with most generalizations, there is very little truth in this claim. In reality, people can be narrow-minded at every age – it is up to the individual to see life in an open way and be more accepting and modern in his views. Today’s 50-year-olds are up-to-date and sometimes even more modern in their views than 20-year-olds. We can thank their high levels of education and the media for it.

Myth #4: 50-year-olds carry too much emotional weight. To be fair, this is not factually wrong. But the way you interpret life experiences is totally up to you. Some might say that people in the fifth decade of their lives are carrying emotional baggage that may be a burden for their relationships. Others, however, may see it in a totally different light. As we grow older, we become more multi-dimensional by discovering that life is not black and white. People dating after 50 may have high standards (because they can compare with what they know), but they are also more empathic, understanding and insightful.

As with most things in life, age is a matter of perspective. If you are dating in your 50s, you should not let anyone categorize you just on the basis of your age. If you are thinking about dating someone in their 50s, you should not judge them on a criterion so shallow as age, depriving yourself of what may be a chance of finding true love.

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Anyone who claims not to have suffered the pains of unrequited love is either closer to 14 than to 40 or lying. Most of us have been through this upsetting situation where the person we are after is simply unavailable. What makes this kind of love so difficult to get over, though?

This Is Why Unrequited Love Is So Addictive

If you rationalize it, why would anyone want someone they can’t have? In an ideal world, it would not even cross our minds to pursue people who are emotionally or otherwise unavailable. Why, then, do we cling on to them like a moth to a flame?

The truth of the matter is that we don’t consciously choose who we fall in love with. Unreciprocated love may be a situation where we love someone who is already in a relationship, so can’t return the feeling even if she wanted to or just someone who doesn’t feel the same way about us. Either way, it hurts.

Despite the fact we have little say over who we develop feelings for; most of us tend to idealize that person. As we fall more and more deeply in love with her, we only tend to notice her good features and traits. And while in romantic relationships partners will slowly appear more flawed than we originally thought they were, in a situation where you aren’t involved with your crush, she will continue to appear close to perfection because there is no friction between you or any real-life situation tests to her character.

Another reason why unrequited love is hard to let go of may be that some of us actually get a thrill out of them. If you keep finding yourself in the same pattern of one-sided love, perhaps there are psychological reasons for it. They could range from low self-esteem to a taste for drama, or even deeper reasons. In any case, an honest look into the causes you keep fall for those you can’t have will probably shed some light on the situation and help you move on.

Strange as it may sound, have you thought of the possibility that you are sabotaging yourself without even realizing it? Setting goals that are too high or unrealistic, like falling in love with a Hollywood actress or a woman who’s happily married, also sets you up for failure. Could it be that you are making this choice out of fear of rejection or commitment? If this is the case, unrequited love may be your refuge, your safe place – despite it sounding like some kind of an oxymoron.

For whatever reason you are experiencing this hurtful situation of not being loved back the way you’d like to, there are always ways to move on and find happiness. You just need to be determined and focused on your goal to find the love that you deserve.

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An alpha male is a superior male in the pack. He is confident enough to be the leader. Naturally, his confidence catches a lot of females‘ attention. If you want to improve your dating game, you have to adopt some traits an alpha male has to make yourself irresistible.

Say Hello With The Confidence Of An Alpha Male

Let’s get one thing straight, first. An alpha male is not your typical, macho man who comes off as rude to women. No, you must understand that an alpha is a suave individual who shows both respect and confidence in the presence of ladies. With some internalization and practice, you can be an alpha yourself and improve your dating life. Here’s how you can do it:

1. Make It A Game

Approach with a game in mind. This can be nerve-wracking, especially when you haven’t had any practice so start small. When you are attending parties, approach a woman by asking her if she wants to play a game with you. Explain that the winner will be treated to a drink by the loser. You can then play any ice-breaking game you can think of. Try this technique out with a friend and see what she thinks.

2. Bring A Wingman

When you bring a sidekick, your status is already elevated. Your wingman is going to hype you up and say great things about you to the ladies. What you do or say next will depend upon you. Your wingman will then be able to help you identify the flaws in your approaches, if ever you fail.

3. A Group Is The Safest

Going out in a group is the safest for women. However, when a lady is with her posse, it would not be very easy to approach, as they might try to prevent you from getting close. The easiest thing to do is to befriend everyone. Ask questions, engage everybody, and maybe buy them a round of drinks. Eventually, they will warm up to you and allow you to talk to the one you are interested in the first place.

4. Eye Contact

If you are feeling brave and want to approach her directly, your best weapon is your eyes. Look at her directly, without your eyeballs shooting in other directions. This is where confidence can be seen. Practice a look in the mirror. It should project a safe and comfortable aura, but speaks confidence not boastfulness.

5. Compliment Her Shoes

What if everything else fails and you are put in an awkward position? You can glance down and admire her shoes if you are meeting face to face. Women love their shoes and will easily warm up to a subject that they are very knowledgeable about. Maybe you should also brush up on your knowledge of women’s shoes?

Not everyone is born an alpha male. But, with some practice and research, you can become one, too. For more tips about improving your dating game, make sure to check out the rest of the blog.

Anyone who has been in a position where they had to end a relationship surely knows that it’s not an easy thing to do. Breaking the news to someone that you will no longer be together can be tough on both sides. The breakup style, recommended by “Life Incorporated” founder, Halley Bock, is a sensitive and honest way to do it.

“Saying Goodbye” Is The Best Breakup Style

Far from the cold-hearted and impersonal attitude that’s adopted by those who prefer “ghosting” as a way to end a relationship, “saying goodbye” is personal and aims to give actual closure to a relationship that just doesn’t work.

Why Is It Important To Say Goodbye?

Halley Bock, the woman behind this breakup technique, points out that showing compassion is vital when it comes to ending a relationship. While it may be convenient to lay the blame of a breakup on others and accuse them of being toxic or evil, in reality, there is no way for us to ever be freed from the emotional baggage unless we say our proper goodbyes.

According to the inspirational author, there is no reason to carry the burden of a relationship that’s no good for us like a heavy bag of stones on our backs. Instead, she proposes that we adopt a more direct and frank approach to how we finish things off, by explaining the reasons for our decision and offering closure.

How Do You Say Goodbye?

What Bock advises people about to break up is to keep the focus on themselves. A good idea is to talk about the effect of the relationship on the person, instead of accusing the soon-to-be-ex partner of the relationship’s failure. So, instead of saying “You are a bad person” you should choose something like “I feel that this relationship does not have the right dynamic for me”.

In any case, she points out that it is essential to make it clear that there is no going back. When you say goodbye, make sure it is understood that the decision is final and do not leave any windows or hopes of a re-connection open.

How To Handle The Reaction

In the event the other person reacts badly, Bock says you should keep your cool and try not to engage in any kind of altercation. Allow the person to accept the harsh reality, as any kind of reaction may be expected when such news is broken to someone. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective, as any person asked to accept something so upsetting is entitled to a reaction.

Even though this new breakup style may not be groundbreaking exactly, in an era of “fast food” relationships, when there is a term for disappearing without a trace from one, it is good to see things from a compassionate and logical angle and end things in a manner which may not be the easiest thing to do, but seems to be the best for both sides.

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