Anyone who has been in a position where they had to end a relationship surely knows that it’s not an easy thing to do. Breaking the news to someone that you will no longer be together can be tough on both sides. The breakup style, recommended by “Life Incorporated” founder, Halley Bock, is a sensitive and honest way to do it.
“Saying Goodbye” Is The Best Breakup Style
Far from the cold-hearted and impersonal attitude that’s adopted by those who prefer “ghosting” as a way to end a relationship, “saying goodbye” is personal and aims to give actual closure to a relationship that just doesn’t work.
Why Is It Important To Say Goodbye?
Halley Bock, the woman behind this breakup technique, points out that showing compassion is vital when it comes to ending a relationship. While it may be convenient to lay the blame of a breakup on others and accuse them of being toxic or evil, in reality, there is no way for us to ever be freed from the emotional baggage unless we say our proper goodbyes.
According to the inspirational author, there is no reason to carry the burden of a relationship that’s no good for us like a heavy bag of stones on our backs. Instead, she proposes that we adopt a more direct and frank approach to how we finish things off, by explaining the reasons for our decision and offering closure.
How Do You Say Goodbye?
What Bock advises people about to break up is to keep the focus on themselves. A good idea is to talk about the effect of the relationship on the person, instead of accusing the soon-to-be-ex partner of the relationship’s failure. So, instead of saying “You are a bad person” you should choose something like “I feel that this relationship does not have the right dynamic for me”.
In any case, she points out that it is essential to make it clear that there is no going back. When you say goodbye, make sure it is understood that the decision is final and do not leave any windows or hopes of a re-connection open.
How To Handle The Reaction
In the event the other person reacts badly, Bock says you should keep your cool and try not to engage in any kind of altercation. Allow the person to accept the harsh reality, as any kind of reaction may be expected when such news is broken to someone. Try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective, as any person asked to accept something so upsetting is entitled to a reaction.
Even though this new breakup style may not be groundbreaking exactly, in an era of “fast food” relationships, when there is a term for disappearing without a trace from one, it is good to see things from a compassionate and logical angle and end things in a manner which may not be the easiest thing to do, but seems to be the best for both sides.