With the sun shining brightly and the refreshingly cool spring breeze softly touching our faces, isn’t it weird we’re at home in front of our computer screens instead of out there enjoying ourselves together? No, it isn’t, because this is how modern life is sometimes. We meet people online, we flirt with them, trying to figure out if this online flirting can work IRL, and then we freak out at the prospect of making the next step.
Online Flirting Is Fun, But It Should Move On
There’s no doubt that there is attraction in having a mysterious stranger text you or e-mail you or chat with you. Someone with whom you can connect on so many levels that it kind of stresses you out if they will be equally attractive face-to-face or if they will still like you when they see you standing awkwardly right there in front of them.
But these are not reasons to avoid real life meetings with our online flirts. In fact, you should view online dating like the first dish you order at a restaurant; the appetizer that whets your (emotional) appetite and gives you a good idea about how good the restaurant is before the main course: the real-life date.
The Red Flags
The first thing that will help you decide if you should take the online flirting further is the absence of red flags. If you notice the other person wishing to leave the online site for more personal communication (via e-mail for example), it’s a worrying sign because online dating sites are there to ensure your safety.
Second, if they hardly ever have time for the meeting, say for instance they can only meet you on Tuesday from 7 to 9, it may be an indication they are in a relationship (or marriage) and can only go under the radar then.
The First Date
It isn’t always easy making sure the person is legit beforehand, though. So, when you arrange the first date make sure it’s during the day (no nights out on the first date), with a coffee date becoming more and more popular (for a number of reasons you can read here).
Some indicators of a bad date are: paying more attention to her mobile than you, talking about her ex too much, bad body language, rudeness to other people and bragging. These are all red flags you shouldn’t ignore, as they can save you a lot of time and trouble.
Taking Things To The Next Level
If you decide to continue dating after the first date, that’s great news. Make sure you keep things light and fun on your next dates, do open up a little but don’t overshare – too much too soon can scare people away and put you in an overly vulnerable position. Take things slow, but not too slow as you may be seen as too timid and maybe even not interested enough.
Be honest about your intentions, but don’t be blatant. There’s a fine line between sincerity and rudeness. If you are both into getting physical, go on – but be sure you’re on the same page and going for the same things. If it means more to one of you, it’s best to avoid it altogether for a start.
Meeting each other in the flesh can cause some disappointment at first, because who doesn’t present themselves in the best possible way when we are online? The truth can be less polished and revealing, but at the end of the day, everyone deserves to be appreciated and loved for who they really are.
Online flirting is a fantastic opportunity to get to know people from all walks of life, even from different places of the earth, and it should be celebrated for doing this amazing service to us. But avoiding RL contact may be a sign that we are too afraid of commitment and shying away from the experiences of life.
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