A lot of people think that when you are in an unpredictable relationship, you instantly become more passionate towards your partner. No one has really proven that this is true, but it is a popular belief. If things are uncertain and unpredictable, will it really spark more fire or is it a way for your relationship to be ruined?

An Unpredictable Relationship Decreases Relational Satisfaction

A study conducted in 2013 studied the daily behaviors of 165 couples. The researchers aimed to see if being in an unpredictable relationship can impact the quality of the participant couples’ relationship.

Based on the data they analyzed, couples would report lesser relational satisfaction when they cannot predict their partner’s behavior. Also, with the newer couples, one person would invest less effort to make the relationship work because uncertain actions translate to an uncertain future.

The Lesson To Learn

Being spontaneous in a relationship is a good thing. For example, it would be nice if you surprised your partner with a vacation to some place tropical. However, if your spontaneity has more to do with your behavior, like not calling or chatting for days, it’s going to be the downfall of your relationship. So, to debunk the theory, no unpredictable relationships do not spark a bigger flame. They will actually fan out the flame more.

What To Do Instead

Instead of playing games, the same researchers suggest that it would be better to make changes. These changes have to benefit your partner or the relationship. For example, you change your schedule so you can video chat with your online date. The earlier example of buying a ticket and being spontaneous is good too. Focus on doing these positive changes if you want your relationship to last.

For more dating and relationship tips, read other posts on the blog.