We all have a type when it comes to dating or meeting people. Whether you admit it or not, we, either consciously or subconsciously, look for traits that we have put on our list. As we go on this journey, we often say that we are looking for the one.
Is Looking For The One A Fruitless Endeavor?
There’s absolutely no problem with the wanting to find someone to love. We all have that basic human need. What’s not working for us, however, is the mindset that we adopt when we look for someone to care for. Experts call it the “destiny mindset”. So, why is it detrimental?
1. It Makes Us Focus On One’s Faults
When you have this long list of traits that are more positive, you will tend to look for traits in your date that’s not on your list. The traits your date lacks are much easier to spot, don’t you agree? For example, you already have this “type” in your mind who likes to sing. If your date doesn’t have a passion for it, then immediately, he or she is not the right person.
2. You May Miss Your Chance To Date Someone Great
You might be dating someone who already has a lot of good traits. They may not be the traits you want, but that doesn’t mean that the person isn’t good for you. This may be the chance that you are looking for, but you don’t see it because you’re too focused on your list.
3. Someone Better Might Come Along
When looking for The One, you’ll always have this thought in your mind that someone better will come along. Let’s say the person you are seeing now is already great but he or she doesn’t have one or two qualities that you wish your partner to have. Naturally, with the destiny mindset, you’ll tell yourself that “the one” is still out there and you should keep looking.
What Can You Do Differently When Looking For The One?
The best way to turn things around would be to have a growth mindset – the belief that any relationship can grow, develop, or change over time. Having this kind of mindset allows you to focus on building a good foundation and correcting your errors as you go along. You acknowledge that things are not perfect, but they can be better when both people work hard for it. For more dating tips, read other posts on the blog.