Ideally, we all want to be in a relationship that’s supportive – one partner supports the other and vice versa. However, not all couples have this goal. There’s a type of relationship where one person makes it his or her mission to make the other person better. This person has, what’s called, the savior complex.
Signs that Say You Have The Savior Complex
The mission may not sound as bad because we do want our partner to be better. We are in a relationship to grow together and become our best versions of ourselves – isn’t that one of the major points of being together? Yes, but there’s more to it.
Supportive Partner VS The Savior Complex
When you are supportive, you help your partner change for the better, but you don’t want to change the entire person so he or she can fit into your idea of “the perfect partner”. That’s one of the main signs of the savior complex – you correct. This is something totally different from being supportive.
One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship is when two people are actively listening to each other. If your partner says how he or she feels, and you listen but you interject after every two minutes, it’s a sign that you want your opinion to become your partner’s.
When we look for a partner, we look for someone we can have long conversations with like how we have conversations with our friends but deeper. A person with the savior complex does have these long conversations, but it’s focused more on interrogating his or her partner to find the “root cause” of his or her flaws.
Helping Too Much
Bringing your partner lunch or dinner when he or she has a busy day at work is fine. It’s very helpful since your significant other may not have a lot of time. But, if you do small as well as grand gestures even if your partner did not ask for them (he or she may not even need any help), you may have the savior complex.
It’s always a good thing to help your partner become a better person. However, we shouldn’t change the person based on what we think is ideal. For more relationship, as well as online dating, tips, read other posts on our blog.