It’s a common fact that we cannot please everybody. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much effort we put into placing our best foot forward, some people will still see us as not likable. To some, this isn’t a problem, but there’s a good number of people reading this now that need to find a way to get over not being liked.
How To Get Over Being Not Likable
So, why do people feel the need to be liked anyway? It has to do with acceptance. For us to feel like we have a place in society or in a certain group of people, we need to be liked. We need to belong.
Ironically, not being liked actually won’t affect our lives one way or the other because what people think of us are external factors that we cannot control. We can only control ourselves. With that said, the key to overcoming not being liked is a change in perspective.
Backed Up By Data
Roger Covin, a clinical psychologist based in Ottawa, says that he usually tells his clients to think of themselves as ink blots used in a Rorschach test. Covin continues by saying that what the person dislikes about you may be what they dislike in themselves. How people read ink blots depends on how much of themselves they see on the splatter.
Another study determined that being liked is more than just having a great personality. Volunteers were requested to determine the participants that they liked and did not like in a controlled setting. Researchers observed that volunteers had a more pleasant feeling with participants who had the same personality as them.
How To Change Your Perspective
Here are some tips on how you can change your perspective to get over being not likable:
- Always think about factors that are beyond the current situation. Have you ever thought the person who doesn’t like you might just be having a bad day? Maybe he or she is hungry. There are other factors that you need to consider.
- You may be bias yourself which caused the other person not to like you. Be ware of your own bad behavior and change it.
- Most of the time, we take things personally. Even when the statement was made from neutral ground, we can still feel like we are being attacked. Know the difference between neutral and negative.