In our (sometimes) desperate desire to find our significant other, we turn to a number of experts for the right advice on how to win over our object of desire. However, almost nothing in life is black and white, and the same goes for the way we should deal with romance and dating. Here are some dating rules you need to stop following blindly.
Why These Common Dating Rules Don’t Work
We don’t suggest that you shouldn’t listen to any kind of advice, but here are some reasons why some dating rules may actually be dating myths.
Rule 1. You shouldn’t discuss any sort of serious topics on your dates. While there is some sense to this piece of advice, it should just be followed on the first, maybe even second, date. You may not want to go into a heavy conversation about politics or religion from the word go, but keeping conversations trivial for longer than that is simply wrong. If you are interested in a serious relationship, you need to know that you and your date are on the same page regarding some core issues, at least.
Rule 2. You shouldn’t ever talk about your past relationships. Again, this is a rule that seems very logical. But here, the key is moderation. Incessantly talking about your ex would be a clear sign you are not over her yet and would, no doubt, put your current date off for good. At the other end of the spectrum, though, acting like you don’t have a past can also be indicative of the fact you’re not over your ex yet. The best idea is to be able to discuss your past (no details necessary, of course), thus showing you are not only over it but also wiser for it.
Rule 3. You need to wait an X amount of time before you pursue sexual contact or agree to it. This piece of advice is so outdated it is almost funny. How soon or late you feel comfortable being intimate with someone is an absolutely personal decision and cannot be put into rules and stereotypes. Simply do what your heart desires and what you both feel comfortable with.
Rule 4. You should keep your “issues” to yourself. While it is logical to try to impress her, if you know you have some specific issues (for example, anxiety attacks or commitment issues), it is best to be open about them and let her know what she is deal with from the start. We’re not suggesting that you should go about talking about your dysfunctional family from the first date, but it’s not a good idea to hide who you really are either. Pretending will not make anyone make the right decisions regarding your relationship.
Rule 5. You should play hard to get. How many times have you heard someone telling you not to text her straight away but rather let 2 days pass before you make any kind of contact as a way to play hard to get? In today’s fast-paced world the next guy is one profile swipe or a click away, so why waste time if you know she’s what you want? As in Rule 3, the best policy is to follow your instinct.
Relationship advice helps us deal with difficult, stressful or unknown situations and that’s why it’s so valuable. However, it is ultimately up to you to decide with relationship rules you want to follow and which you should disregard.