No one gets married planning to cheat on their partner, or even thinking they will be cheated on. We hear about it happening all around us, though, so we know it’s a possibility we can’t rule out completely. There are, however, things we can do in order to avoid an affair that would put a spanner in the works of our plans for marital bliss.
The Best Way To Avoid An Affair That Would Blow Up Your Marriage
The figures given by the Statistic Brain Research Institute show that one or both spouses admit to either physical or emotional infidelity in 41% of marriages; with a whopping 57% of men and over half (51%) of women admitting to infidelity in any of their relationships. These figures are hardly reason for complacency, but they shouldn’t put you off marriage either.
The way most of us deal with the fear of being cheated on is to sternly warn our partner that infidelity is out of bounds in our marriage, and letting him/her know that the minute we catch wind that they have done the deed, we’re gone for good. Even though it might seem like the only way to discourage our partners from having an affair, in reality, what this straightforward approach does is to make them want to cover their tracks so we never learn about their affair.
Understanding Why People Have Affairs
What we need to understand, then, is why men and women may cheat. Only then can we work on eliminating, or at least reducing these causes. As concerns men, it has been found that the main reason a guy will stray is for casual sex. If a man is not 100% satisfied with his sex life at home, he is likely to look for what he wants in an affair. For women, on the other hand, it seems that the number one reason for infidelity is feeling emotionally neglected or unwanted. In other words, women might seek comfort and admiration in the arms of a lover if they feel scorned within their marriage.
So, What Can You Do To Avoid An Affair In A Marriage?
There are 3 main things you can do to prevent the worst from happening. First of all, you need to be aware of your partner’s needs and desires. This can only be achieved through constant and open communication. It is the main reason why two spouses need to first and foremost be good friends with each other, they need to feel free to express their true self and not be ashamed to communicate their needs and wants for fear of being criticized.
Second, as a marriage progresses, so do the people involved in it. What was once desirable, may not be so anymore, but there will be core things your spouse admired in you that he/she still finds irresistible. For example, if it’s her long hair you love, let her know so she can keep it this way; if she admires your cooking skills, don’t stop making her favorite dish. In other words, evolve but also stay true to the things that brought you together.
A third way to avoid an affair ruining your marriage is to be sincere enough to discuss temptation with each other. Do you find Beyonce stunning? Does she think Alexander Skarsgaard is God’s gift to women? So what? Make it OK to talk about the people you find attractive like two adults who are neither blind nor asexual, knowing you are committed, you are making the conscious decision to remain faithful to each other.
To cut a long story short, you can’t put your marriage in bubble-wrap and be safe in the knowledge it will never break. But, you can avoid an affair breaking it if you make sure you handle it with love and care every single day.