Many things have been said about what makes dating or a relationship work. But, actually, the key relationship ingredient that should always be present is compassion. You may think that compassion is not that big of a deal, but there are plenty of reasons why it is.
Compassion Is The Key Relationship Ingredient To Being Happy In Love
Compassion is being able to feel what your partner is feeling, even in suffering. You identify with them, and this feeling can help you cope during the most difficult times of your relationship. There are four horses of divorce, so they say, and these are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Compassion can circumvent all of those.
Compassion In The Face Of Contempt
Many people are not even aware that how they are acting is already showing contempt. Instances like rolling your eyes when your partner is talking is already an act of contempt. Compassion will not let you do that because you know how insulting your actions can feel.
Compassion In The Midst Of Criticism
When a relationship is starting to become rocky, the criticisms become harsher as well. It seems that your partner can’t do anything right. This is totally the opposite of compassion, where you identify with your partner’s struggles. Instead, when you have the key relationship ingredient down, you will be more supportive and be nurturing towards your partner.
Compassion VS Defensiveness
When there is criticism, there is defensiveness. But, when one partner starts to exhibit compassionate behavior, the other party will most likely soften and be less defensive.
Compassion To Avoid Stonewalling
Compassion is not just for your partner but also for yourself. If you have self-compassion, you are able to look deeper into yourself. You are able to soothe or comfort yourself in times of difficulties. The higher your self-compassion, the higher the self-esteem you will have, which will enable you to become more open to your partner.
Are you having troubles in your relationship? Or, do you just feel that your relationship can still improve somehow? The good news is that this key relationship ingredient known as compassion can be learned. You can train yourself to show it. And, it is even scientifically proven. Brain MRI studies show that people who were trained in compassion have shown significant changes in their brains. So if there is a problem, learn to be compassionate. For more tips, read our blog.