When it comes to dating – as with many things in life – there are no guarantees of success. You may think you’ve got everything covered: from picking a great, cozy restaurant and being dressed up to the nines, to showing your most polite and gentlemanly behavior, but then you never hear back from her. If you can’t figure out why, this first date mistake may be the answer.
A Common First Date Mistake That Puts People Off
If you thought the date went swimmingly and can’t put your finger on the reason she’s practically gone AWOL ever since, it may be due to reasons that have nothing to do with you (like her discovering she’s not over her ex, or realizing she’s not ready for a relationship), or due to this one very common first date mistake you’ve made: being negative.
Sometimes, in our effort to make conversation we may comment on something like the traffic we found on the way to the restaurant or the nasty weather, without realizing we sound whiney. Also, your ability to make sarcastic jokes may make you popular among friends, but when you’re in the presence of a lady you know nothing about, it is best to keep your jokes a little milder to avoid offense.
Moreover, despite the fact that honesty is considered to be an asset, revealing your weaknesses too soon can actually prove to be a major turnoff. People often think that by willingly showing their own shortcomings right off the bat, they win points for honesty and prevent bad surprises later. However, there is a mistake in this logic, as people tend to fear that a person who is supposed to show their best sides on a date will actually have a lot more issues than he lets on.
A Date Is Not A Therapy Session
This huge first date mistake is based on the wrong notion of what a date is. A date should not be mistaken for a therapy session. The lady sitting across the table is not a therapist – even if she is, she is off duty, she is there to have a good time. The aim of the date is not for one of the two people to let off steam and feel better, it is supposed to be a fun, exciting experience where both parties get to know each other better.
Don’t burden your date with your problems, don’t show her your red flags and don’t expect her to be tuned to your sarcastic sense of humor instantly. Instead, keep the conversation light and interesting, focus on the positive experiences of the day, talk about the good things you notice around you, and try to show your best self – she can discover your flaws in the dates that follow if you do all of the above.
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