All posts by Anastasia Date

How To Be Cool Around People (It’s Easier Than You Think)

Let’s be honest, who doesn’t want to be cool? From our kindergarten years to when we’re old and gray, being cool is the one thing we all aspire to. Why? Well, that’s an easy question: because we all want to be liked and loved. Now, to the hard question: how do you do it?

The Ways To Be Cool And Popular

Being cool won’t happen overnight. It’s not something anyone is born with, and it’s not something you can buy/ rent/ borrow. It is something only you can make happen to you. Here’s how.

Rule number one: Confidence. There is no way this can be stressed out enough: you need to exude confidence even if you’re feeling a little insecure. This is a case of fake-it-till-you-make-it. Don’t worry, even the coolest of people have their weak moments, you’ll just never have the chance to see them. Act like you own the room when you enter a bar/ house/ restaurant/ office. Don’t be cocky, be sure of yourself. Keep thinking “I’ve got this” and keep your shoulders and your back straight.

The second rule to reaching high levels of coolness is to not try to hard. If there’s a person you believe is not into you, ignore them. Smile when people make a negative remark about you, don’t try to correct them or change their opinions. Always think that your energy is too precious to spend on people and situations that are lost causes. Life always has the answer, they may (or may not) change their minds given time.

The third thing to do to be cool is to observe someone you admire and get as much from that person as you can. If you can actually befriend that person, you get bonus coolness points. Careful, though, you don’t want to suck up to them or imitate, because these things are totally uncool. You want to check out how they act and what makes them special to you. Then see how much of that you can apply in practice.

Rule number four is to know the rules of any situation you find yourself in (a work environment, a social gathering, etc.), and to not be afraid to break them when you see fit. Think about the classic James Dean and Marlon Brando roles. Did they abide by rules? No. Were they cool? Absolutely; and still are to this day. The same goes for every 007 ever. That’s because a person who’s not afraid to break the rules appears to be confident (see rule #1) and powerful.

In a nutshell, if you want to be cool (who doesn’t, right?), you need to first and foremost believe in yourself and carry your personality with pride, not pay too much attention to what negative people say, focus on those who have your respect, break some rules if you must (within reason, of course), and not try too hard to be someone you’re not. Be the best version of yourself and proud of it; the rest will come.

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This First Date Mistake Is Costing You A Second One

When it comes to dating – as with many things in life – there are no guarantees of success. You may think you’ve got everything covered:  from picking a great, cozy restaurant and being dressed up to the nines, to showing your most polite and gentlemanly behavior, but then you never hear back from her. If you can’t figure out why, this first date mistake may be the answer.

A Common First Date Mistake That Puts People Off

If you thought the date went swimmingly and can’t put your finger on the reason she’s practically gone AWOL ever since, it may be due to reasons that have nothing to do with you (like her discovering she’s not over her ex, or realizing she’s not ready for a relationship), or due to this one very common first date mistake you’ve made: being negative.

Sometimes, in our effort to make conversation we may comment on something like the traffic we found on the way to the restaurant or the nasty weather, without realizing we sound whiney. Also, your ability to make sarcastic jokes may make you popular among friends, but when you’re in the presence of a lady you know nothing about, it is best to keep your jokes a little milder to avoid offense.

Moreover, despite the fact that honesty is considered to be an asset, revealing your weaknesses too soon can actually prove to be a major turnoff. People often think that by willingly showing their own shortcomings right off the bat, they win points for honesty and prevent bad surprises later. However, there is a mistake in this logic, as people tend to fear that a person who is supposed to show their best sides on a date will actually have a lot more issues than he lets on.

A Date Is Not A Therapy Session

This huge first date mistake is based on the wrong notion of what a date is. A date should not be mistaken for a therapy session. The lady sitting across the table is not a therapist – even if she is, she is off duty, she is there to have a good time. The aim of the date is not for one of the two people to let off steam and feel better, it is supposed to be a fun, exciting experience where both parties get to know each other better.

Don’t burden your date with your problems, don’t show her your red flags and don’t expect her to be tuned to your sarcastic sense of humor instantly. Instead, keep the conversation light and interesting, focus on the positive experiences of the day, talk about the good things you notice around you, and try to show your best self – she can discover your flaws in the dates that follow if you do all of the above.

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This Is How You Can Avoid An Affair In Your Marriage

No one gets married planning to cheat on their partner, or even thinking they will be cheated on. We hear about it happening all around us, though, so we know it’s a possibility we can’t rule out completely. There are, however, things we can do in order to avoid an affair that would put a spanner in the works of our plans for marital bliss.

The Best Way To Avoid An Affair That Would Blow Up Your Marriage

The figures given by the Statistic Brain Research Institute show that one or both spouses admit to either physical or emotional infidelity in 41% of marriages; with a whopping  57% of men and over half (51%) of women admitting to infidelity in any of their relationships. These figures are hardly reason for complacency, but they shouldn’t put you off marriage either.

The way most of us deal with the fear of being cheated on is to sternly warn our partner that infidelity is out of bounds in our marriage, and letting him/her know that the minute we catch wind that they have done the deed, we’re gone for good. Even though it might seem like the only way to discourage our partners from having an affair, in reality, what this straightforward approach does is to make them want to cover their tracks so we never learn about their affair.

Understanding Why People Have Affairs

What we need to understand, then, is why men and women may cheat. Only then can we work on eliminating, or at least reducing these causes. As concerns men, it has been found that the main reason a guy will stray is for casual sex. If a man is not 100% satisfied with his sex life at home, he is likely to look for what he wants in an affair. For women, on the other hand, it seems that the number one reason for infidelity is feeling emotionally neglected or unwanted. In other words, women might seek comfort and admiration in the arms of a lover if they feel scorned within their marriage.

So, What Can You Do To Avoid An Affair In A Marriage?

There are 3 main things you can do to prevent the worst from happening.  First of all, you need to be aware of your partner’s needs and desires. This can only be achieved through constant and open communication. It is the main reason why two spouses need to first and foremost be good friends with each other, they need to feel free to express their true self and not be ashamed to communicate their needs and wants for fear of being criticized.

Second, as a marriage progresses, so do the people involved in it. What was once desirable, may not be so anymore, but there will be core things your spouse admired in you that he/she still finds irresistible.  For example, if it’s her long hair you love, let her know so she can keep it this way; if she admires your cooking skills, don’t stop making her favorite dish. In other words, evolve but also stay true to the things that brought you together.

A third way to avoid an affair ruining your marriage is to be sincere enough to discuss temptation with each other. Do you find Beyonce stunning? Does she think Alexander Skarsgard is God’s gift to women? So what? Make it OK to talk about the people you find attractive like two adults who are neither blind nor asexual, knowing you are committed, you are making the conscious decision to remain faithful to each other.

To cut a long story short, you can’t put your marriage in bubble-wrap and be safe in the knowledge it will never break. But, you can avoid an affair breaking it if you make sure you handle it with love and care every single day.